The Mighty 1/1000 of a Per Cent has Roared!

From Jim: The meaningless state of Iowa has issued the meaningless results of their meaningless caucuses. By an overwhelming victory of 8, yes that's right, 8 votes the Mittster has carried the day. Let the church bells ring out. Oops, Mormons don't have bells or crosses. Anyway, Rick Santorem, ex-senator and "family values" guy extraordinaire missed it "by this much". Maxwell Smart would have been proud! Let's pause and reflect on the huge significance of the moment. OK, about 119,000 proud Iowanian Republicans rose up and 23% of that massive assemblage "double secret probation" balloted for the Mormon guy. So did 23% for Ron Paul, librarian retro-guy, and Ricky, Father Knows Best, guy. Folks, we're talkin big numbers here-like over 25 thousand, wowsers. That's like getting all of the Palermo vote, with maybe Honcutt thrown it. It boggles the mind. Michele-ma lead belle-finished, well really was finished with a showing that wouldn't have won a class student council seat in the 5th grade. Rick, Marlboro Man, Perry vows to crusade on-I mean like a real crusade to the holy lands and stuff. This happened after reflection and prayer and the voices in his head said, "Well, don't mess with Texas y'all". Romney stated, and I'm not making this up, "On to New Hampshire". I sure hope he doesn't hold that as an original thought to be a sound bite moment. It's like the NFL player that's going to give it 110%. Really? I think we should just dispense with the rest of the primary process, declare Mitt the crown prince of the Republican Party, let him lose, as the unelectable slug that he is, and move directly to four more years of mindless grid-lock. That should give the Tea Party Malamar Rangers time to train up and launch their paramilitary insurgency against the republic they despise so much. The want their never-existed "Mericah" back and if it never existed, well, it should have. About 20% of the independent voters say they'll vote Republican this time, to"send a message to Washington". Again, Really? I thought the Iowa caucuses just did that. The independent- undecided-uninformed-dissatisfied-devout-born again-free thinking voters surely will grasp the mandate cast before them by the Iowa masses. I would suggest an Occupy Iowa event, but you can't live there.